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Who is failing as a partner? Is it you or your spouse?



One fine morning when I was browsing the internet, I came across a research article talking about how the biggest subset of people on dating/find-new-friend type of sites like Tinder, Fropper etc are married men. I was completely surprised by that article, not because it is commonly used by married men but because it amazed me how come a man fails to seek the companionship in his wife. Not being biased towards any gender, I started mulling over it. Is it the wife who failed as a partner in a “holy matrimonial” that is based on love, loyalty and sacrifice and left her man with no other choice but to join these websites and apps and compensate for “the lost thing” in their marriage? Or is it the husband who failed as a partner and irrespective of what his woman had done for him, he was never content and kept on looking for more?
Let’s try to paint a picture to get a better understanding. It was a beautiful sunny day in the month of April and a young beautiful girl is on her way to the public library. She goes through the rack labelled as fiction, picks up some of her favourite books and walks towards the librarian. But on her way to the fat spectacled librarian, she stumbles over something and her books fall on the floor. With a sigh of disappointment, she bends over. Before she could reach out to the books, she sees another hand picking them up for her. She looks at the other person. A tall handsome man with a smile to die for. He looks back at her and the two instantly can feel a spark. After few coffee and movie dates, the passionate affair starts between them. So much obsessed with each other, they decide to take the next step and get married and live a happy life. And few years after, the wick starts flickering and soon the love candle burns out. The Love story no doubt sounds very cheesy but the point is whatever be the way they have first met or whatever be the reason that made them fall in love; why it happens that a love affair mostly starts so beautifully but dies an ugly death.
There can be various reasons that can be argued as true or not true but the most important thing that many people fail to realise is that the marriage is not the end stop, but on the other hand it’s the start of a long journey. And not to mention that it needs continuous efforts from both the partners to make it work. Remember how you made her feel special during your dating phase as if she was the centre of your world. She still misses the same attention and love from you, unable to express but yes, she does. And beautiful lady, do you remember how you always spent time in dressing up amazingly just for him so that you might make his heart skip a beat when he meets you and you will talk to him as if he is the perfect partner for you even if he is not; but now you are more concerned about what he is not doing rather than what he is doing. He also misses your efforts and words of appreciation that you had shown in the starting.
The end of this dating game is not the marriage but a beautiful life together which doesn’t have any final destination like marriage, children or celebrating your silver jubilee together. Even if you have lived together for 50 years and you are nearing your 80s now, the partnership still needs efforts. At no point, anything can be taken as granted because this only starts the fall.
And also, if you won’t, any other person will treat your partner the way they want or the way they should be and make him/her realise what they are lacking.

 Wedding blog Delhi Absolute Fairytales


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