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How much blindness in love is okay?

January 3, 2015

 

 Love blog blindness in love
 
Recently I came across a strong statement made by one of my friends that forced me to write this blog. While conversing about one of his close family members and his girlfriend, he said "That particular guy should not marry his girlfriend for past many years as the girl does not come from a good family". As he continued talking, my mind suddenly drifted off to another world and I started wondering what exactly does a good family background mean?
 
At one point, I thought he might be justified in saying so because we all know that family plays an important role in shaping the identity of a person. Many of the times you can see a glimpse of your family values reflected in your own personality. There will be many situations in your life where you will find yourself doing a stuff in a particular manner because your dad used to do like that or your mom told you to do like that. Your such behavior can be because of the role played by your conscious mind, subconscious mind or unconscious mind in your day to day decision making. 
 
On the other hand, I thought about all those nice and loving people who are not from a good family but they have their own identity. They are working hard day by day not to be judged by the quotation that "A family shapes a person". Consider a hypothetical person who doesn't get the luxury to be a part of a great family. Let’s assume his parents are not the ideal parents. His father committed a crime, spent 5 years in a jail and his mother is a drug addict. But their son is nothing like them. He is a wonderful human being and an ideal partner for any girl. He works in an MNC at a good position. He is kind, loving and caring. But as he doesn't come from a good background, what shall the girl do now? Shall she break all her ties with him worrying that he might exhibit criminal tendencies like his father or he might become an addict one day like his mother? Or shall she just focus on how affectionate partner he is irrespective of what his parents are?
 
It is generally said that love is blind. But how much blindness in love is okay? Shall you become all analytic, weighing all pros and cons of a person before entering into a relationship? But if you do so, it is no longer considered as love. From signing any contract to entering into any business deal, it can be close to anything but not to love. If you are starting your relationship based on all these judgments, soon chances are there you will end it to too based on the same thing i.e. less love and more judging. But if judging is not ethical, then what shall you do? Shall you behave like a teenager, newly in love and not just blind, but also deaf to what others are saying? But even this doesn't look like a good solution to this thing. As we all know, when we are in love our senses become all heightened up and we are unable to see many things. You might have seen many examples in your own lives, a girl putting up with an abusive partner or a guy struggling with an unaffectionate girl. Reasons can be many for this but one of the reasons that cannot be ignored is that in the initial months of their courtship, they turned up completely blind to the basic qualities (good listener, caring, nice etc) they needed in a partner. And when they realized where they went wrong, it was quite late.
 
This makes me conclude that love is blind and it should be. This is the essence of falling in love and loving a person with all your heart that all these petty things like religion, caste, ethnicity and family background become invisible to you. But you should also be sensible on the same time, not to ignore the things that you know can turn any relationship and not just yours sour after a couple of years.

 

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